<..: Ramblings of An Overtired Mommy :..>

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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

The season is definitely here. No, not Christmas (although it seems to have gotten here in full force), but cold season. Last Saturday, the temperature here was around 75. Pretty hot for December. Now, its around 30 degrees when I wake up in the morning. So, in response, my sinuses have staged a revolt and apparently their destination was my chest. It hurts to breathe, which unfortunately is a necessity for some reason. I went to the doctor and got some great medicine, but it makes me sleepy, so, I guess I'll just be medicating myself after work in the privacy of my own home, far, far away from vehicles and heavy machinery (and motorists everywhere breathe a sigh of relief).

This sickness has put a definite damper on my holiday spirit. I don't know if my newly hightened cynicism is a result of the cold, or just the holiday rush. I noticed a radio commercial the other night for a TV program that sounded pretty interesting, only to find out by looking at the clock that it had ended 30 minutes ago. Please tell me that these people don'tt pay for that advertising!I also have become annoyed by people who obviously started decorating their house with lights, only to have completed 1/2 a window and decided that they really weren't that into the holiday spirit. That in itself is understandable, but why oh why do you actually turn on your one strand for the world to see? Do you really think that I'll look at that and say "They're in the holiday spirit." Nope..more likely that I will make a really nasty comment that will make LuckyHusband smile admiringly (as if he taught me to be that mean..it was there long before he came along).

And while I am acting Scrooge-like, the following message is for the a$$holes who decided that they were too cheap to buy gifts this year and decided they would just steal some from under my porch.

To you a$$holes that aren't even worthy of a lump of coal:

I really hope that you have made someone's holiday season brighter this year. I'm sure that the screwdriver set with half of the screwdrivers missing (don't you just hate men who don't put stuff back where they belong?) will make an excellent present for your obviously white trash redneck father. I assume that this is the case based on your obvious lack of upbringing. I assume he has made it out of the pen in time for Christmas judging by you buying stealing him a gift. Way to go!!

I'm sure your drunken uncle (just a guess) will enjoy the drill that you stole as well. I can only hope that the two of you will try to operate it while drinking copious amounts of alcohol. And I'm betting that the tackle box will be just what your high school drop-out sister has been waiting for!! Nothing like some good bait to snag that future husband!

But, for the greatest gift of all...the two cases of bottled water. I must admit, this one puzzled me for a minute. Then the light bulb came on! Why did I buy (this means actually paying money that came from a job that I worked) bottled water? Because it's healthy and I wanted to try and lose a few pounds. So, I'm assuming that this gift could only be for the love of your life/mother to encourage her to lose a chin or two. I hope she smacks your a$$ into next year. Too bad she's obviously about 15 or so years too late.

And finally, if you are the same person who broke into my house in March and stole my digital camera, I hope you have a great time capturing the memories of this holiday season. I also hope that your propane heater (stolen I'm sure) introduces massive amounts of carbon monoxide into your lungs until the oxygen leaves your blood and you suffocate to death in your sleep. (with visions of bucks and ducks dancing in your head)

Merry Christmas and Bah Humbug!!

Melissa

Melissa @ 9:00 AM | comment

~IntrO~

Melissa
Melissa-Mom to LittleMan (4/04); wife to LuckyHusband; full-time toxicologist; full-time housekeeper; full-time domestic laundromat manager (washes all the clothes); full-time domestic finance manager (pays all the bills and yells at husband for spending too much money on fishing stuff); and Keeper of the Cheerios. Lives in a tiny town; spends tons of time with family; reads; enjoys crafts. Can change a diaper, fill a sippy cup, and put on a toddler's shoes in 15.4 seconds flat, all while calculating the impact of petroleum hydrocarbons to a nearby surface water body (watch for me in the Toddler Olympics on CBS this fall). Addicted to Dr. Pepper; Kit Kats; and pasta. To spot me in a crowd: I'm the one with frizzy messed-up hair, smeared graham crackers on my shirt; huge purse with a diaper peeking out, toddler on her hip, and camera in hand at all times.

~ArchiveS~

May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006

~Stars of my ShoW~

LittleMan

LuckyHusband

Hooker (pictured with LittleMan)

Hooker

Scuba Steve (pictured with LittleMan and myself)

Scuba Steve

~ReadS~