<..: Ramblings of An Overtired Mommy :..>

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Sunday, June 12, 2005

Saturday at the school reunion, a former home economics teacher, Ms. Busbice, spoke about Southern Belles and that the traditions of a southern belle are still alive today. One of the characteristics of a southern belle that she described was their affinity for a funeral. Not that they like the fact that someone has died, but all the things that the death brings about.
I'm not sure if this is just a southern thing, a small town thing, both, or neither, but where I live, when someone dies, within hours the drove of people bringing food starts. This continues until the day of the funeral and sometimes even the day afterwards.
When someone in your family dies, you can rest assured that there will be more food than a small army could eat and that all of it is loaded with fat and sugar "to keep up your strength". When both my grandmother and my uncle died, people who some of us didn't know, came to pay their respects with food in hand. The non-domestic people always bring cokes, ice, paper plates, cups, and cutlery. Some of these go above and beyond and buy boxes of chicken from the nearest chicken place or buy already prepared desserts. My favorite thing is the ham and cheese trays. These are soooo yummy. It's just something about deli cut meats and cheeses that make a sandwich irresistable.
In small towns, there are certain people who become famous for their "signature funeral dish". When my grandmother died, the funeral director asked if we were close with a certain lady in town. I replied, "yes" and he assured me that I was in luck. He predicted a huge Crock-Pot of smothered deer steaks before dark. And he was right. Another lady in our church has perfected her signature dish, a layered coconut cake. Now, don't get me wrong, I hate a funeral, but if you just have to have one, that cake almost makes it bearable.
Another common practice is for friends and/or church members to come to the house where the family gathers and to help serve food, pour drinks, wash dishes, or whatever is needed. Some of these people go above and beyond with helping. I know that our family will be forever greatful to those who helped us.
I guess the practice of bringing food is a tangible way of showing that you care for the family that has been affected by the tragedy. I also thing some ladies use this in an effort to out-do their neighbors with the family benefitting from the long-lived rivalry. Whatever the motivation, I think it's a wonderful tradition.
I will tell you about another tradition I have noticed where funerals are concerned, then I will stop my rambling. As a child, I became aware of a practice that goes on among the more advanced in age in a community. I like to refer to it as casserole toting. Yes, I said casserole toting, with those who participate in the effort being pegged as "casserole toters". Let me explain....
I noticed in our small community that when an elderly lady passed away, the widows in the community would almost break a hip to get to the recently widowed man with a casserole in hand. I attribute this practice to the fact that many men who are up in age are accustomed to someone taking care of them. This includes feeding them. Most are totally helpless beyond a sandwich and potato chips.
It is like a pagent of sorts I guess with each eligible female parading in her Sunday best with her best Pyrex in hand and that "signature dish" that she hopes will win the heart (or stomach) of the widower. Strange but true, this goes on for a few weeks and then goes into something quite like the Top 5 of Miss America. Slowly you see that the women whose skills are apparently not quite up to par start to wane out of the picture. I guess a dish is returned 1/2 empty or something to that effect. Anyway, about 6 months later, it's usually obvious who was victorious in the contest, because usually by that time a wedding is occurring. Then the runners up find the next contest and move on.
I visualize these women like tabloid reporters. They sniff out the obituaries looking for a lead and then with unsurpassed ferocity they seek to find details about the man such as favorite dishes and then get to work on their submittal for the "contest". It's quite hilarious to watch actually.
Anyway, hope you have all had a great weekend.
Melissa

Melissa @ 7:18 PM | comment

~IntrO~

Melissa
Melissa-Mom to LittleMan (4/04); wife to LuckyHusband; full-time toxicologist; full-time housekeeper; full-time domestic laundromat manager (washes all the clothes); full-time domestic finance manager (pays all the bills and yells at husband for spending too much money on fishing stuff); and Keeper of the Cheerios. Lives in a tiny town; spends tons of time with family; reads; enjoys crafts. Can change a diaper, fill a sippy cup, and put on a toddler's shoes in 15.4 seconds flat, all while calculating the impact of petroleum hydrocarbons to a nearby surface water body (watch for me in the Toddler Olympics on CBS this fall). Addicted to Dr. Pepper; Kit Kats; and pasta. To spot me in a crowd: I'm the one with frizzy messed-up hair, smeared graham crackers on my shirt; huge purse with a diaper peeking out, toddler on her hip, and camera in hand at all times.

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